i don’t even follow anyone watching spn anymore and it’s not on my dash so i WISH i could say i’m not affected but like
i was already having the worst fucking couple of weeks and now i feel awful all over again
i’d love to post something positive but i’m having trouble focusing. any requests?
((FINALE SPOILERS)): I like to imagine Cas and Balthazar meeting up in the place wherever meetings of the Dead Angels' Society are held, spotting each other from across the room, and first sharing a long and knowing look that is equal parts remorse and gratitude...
oh my god cass is dead again. i mean it was only a matter of time, but. jesus.
i’m sorry, i used to think a lot about cass & balthazar meeting post s6. in fact, it’s one of the first ever calthazar posts on my main (and you already found ensardens’ beautiful post). i wish i could appreciate this image more right now but now i’m just scared they’ll actually bring balthazar back
thanks so much for the message tho, really ♥[EDIT] as an aside, i had to look up s12 info to answer this ofc, and i had the immense pleasure of reading the phrase “castiel knocks sam and dean out” in reference to the previous episode
now i’m off on a mental tangent and wondering how cass explained balthazar & rachel’s deaths to the rest of the army back in s6
rachel’s is a little easier cause cass came back genuinely wounded but balthazar? there was no one else in the room but there were angels everywhere around who felt the blast like
like i doubt they’d either believe or cass would try to tell them that balthazar tried to kill him
did he tell them balthazar was a traitor? did they accept that or could they maybe make some guesses as to why?or did he say nothing because they asked no questions, which would be sketchy as hell. i mean i know it’s what angels are trained to do but like. unquestioningly following orders being Bad was kind of a major thing the rebels were about
posting this separately cause i don’t wanna derail happy posts about balthazar being mentioned but
that quote from the ep a while ago, “balthazar. uriel. […] both dead now. you had a hand in that too”
is just such a perfect example of how the writers think of cass. he deliberately kills someone (all plotholes aside)? his fault. someone saves his life when he’s about to be killed by someone who had already murdered seven of their siblings?
also his fault. “you had a hand in that too” two completely different things conflated as though they are exactly the same
cass is written as though absolutely everything bad that happens in his vicinity is something he needs to feel guilty about. if anyone dies near him he “had a hand in that” and he should’ve done betterbut he’s never gonna be allowed to bc the sense i get from the spn writers these days is that cass IS guilt. he exists to be crushed under the weight of his guilt and as long as he keeps standing they have to keep piling it on, even if it makes no sense at all
i mean i know raphael’s never coming back bc the showrunners are just as racist & sexist as the fans but
i like to think that if he DID he might actually approach cass with some understanding?
imagine raphael laying low for a bit instead of making an automatic power move, esp when he realizes cass is still alive
but then actually catching up on what cass has been doing, and trying to do, and what he’s been through and WHY
like i’m sure raphael could appreciate why cass opposed him after s5, even if he would not tolerate it, but even if he didn’t then i’m sure he could and if for once an archangel might be willing to shut up and listen for a bit they could do so much together, raphael has the experience that cass doesn’t, he’s the rock
just imagine the old power and the new will, and what they could do for each other and their familyat the very least, just imagine raphael being the one to finally offer cass sanctuary
okay listen i gotta go to bed but i just bought grimes’ “art angels” album and so far? this is literally the soundtrack to cass saying goodbye to dean and hitting the open sky with balthazar and hannah 4ever after
special mention goes to:
- flesh without blood
- venus fly
- realiti (balthazar pov –> cass)
you gotta hate how s/pn fandom’s “proof” that raphael & hannah or even all the angels are nonbinary
is literally nothing but their own ignorance of trans/nb-ness. their diehard cissexism IS their proof
but hey, they will scrape the bottom of any possible barrel to claim their show is progressive
this is the tl;dr version bc i can’t be bothered to get in depth and i don’t think it’s necessary but
pure, stubborn, immovable selfishness, i realize, is the archangels’ defining trait honestly
“no one makes us do anything” is not a free will line, it’s a “we never listen” line
it’s a goddamn tragedy what happened to heaven and earth bc god left the universe in control of beings whose motto is “i’m going to what i’m going to do, and i dare you to stop me” (although as far as i can tell, god himself isn’t much different)
“why won’t any of you listen?”
“they don’t listen, castiel, because their hearts are mine, and i’m too far up my own ass to listen to anyone else”like goddamn no wonder sam n dean were the vessels
(#y'all know i find raphael the most sympathetic of the four but jesus fuck #the civil war happened bc he would not accept any road to 'paradise' other than the apocalypse as prescribed by god)
have spn staff ever explained why cass was part of a “garrison”?
bc a garrison is a stationary group of soldiers, assigned to one place, traditionally as guards
yeah i know cass says they watched humanity but the show and even he himself have always stressed the warrior aspect more and a soldier going on missions and actively fighting would not be part of a garrison
like. i’ve always thought they just liked the sound of it to be honest
so apparently there’s gonna be a cass-centric s12 ep? like about his “backstory”?just letting y’all know in advance, i don’t want to hear a thing about it. i’m serious. i want to forget i ever heard about such a thing, just keep it 100% away from me please
Cass leans heavily against the door frame, trying to speak while he’s still upright.
“I need…your help-…” it’s almost a whisper.
“Of course– of course, Cass-” Balthazar reaches out, pleading. There’s nothing he can do until Castiel releases him from the circle, and Cass is rapidly dying. Balthazar can see the welts all across his body, burning him like a fever.
Castiel lurches forward, sinking to the floor without support. As Balthazar kneels, pressing as close as the barrier will allow, Cass reaches out, dragging two bloodstained fingers through the line of sigils.
The cell is opened.
“…please…run…” Cass lays his cheek on the stone floor, hugging his knees against the pain as millions upon millions of souls tear at his insides. “…warn the others…keep them safe…”
He gasps as his ribs splinter. “…please, Balthazar…” If he dies here, at least, he hopes, they die with him. “I-I can’t-…”
But Balthazar doesn’t run. He pulls Cass into his lap and holds him gently, laying his Grace over them both like a blanket.
“It’s all right,” he murmurs, soothing. “It’s all right, Cass. I can.”
how about a 6x22 au where cass imprisons balthazar instead of killing him, and goes to him for help instead in 7x01
balthazar stands with him during the second ritual, helping cass stay up with his arms around his waist. the rush of souls almost burns his hands right off, but it worksand afterwards, he lays cass down in bed for a nice, long rest
a post in the balthazar tag calling him and cass “as close to friends as angels could supposedly get“
exhibit a: “a good friend”
exhibit b: “i’m betraying a friend here”
they literally?? used that exact word?? to describe their relationship???
and cass has called other angels friends?? like uriel, the very first angel we saw him with???
but no, angels aren’t friends, everi don’t understand that fandom, i just don’t
cass did, reluctantly, allow pictures of himself to be taken right after he left that night. they’re in a folder in an envelope at the bottom of his duffel and he hates having to carry them aroundhe really hopes to someday trust balthazar again enough to ask him to hold onto them without ever looking at them, but then he beats himself up about whether or not that’s fair( part 2 )
The finished version.
Now almost 30, Balthazar and Castiel meet for the first time since their teens, when Castiel’s parents forcibly separated them by sending Castiel to a school far away.
The road to their reunion began eight months earlier, when Castiel, bleeding and shaken, picked himself off the floor and walked out of his home of seven long years.