Sep. 4th, 2016

[identity profile] theamazingdalet.livejournal.com


“What I think?” Balthazar sat down again and hesitated before answering.

“You’re not as relentlessly optimistic as you think you are.” He sighed, looking up at Castiel. “You want me on the battlefield, but, really, you need me here.”

Castiel’s face fell, and he looked away. It was the wrong answer in an endless conversation neither of them liked.

“Please, Cass…” Balthazar pleaded softly. “Just admit it. I can’t stand to fight with you anymore.”

“I’m sorry–” Castiel insisted quietly. “I really do have to go.”

“Of course.”

“…I’ll be back.” For just a moment, he looked at Balthazar tenderly.



“Of course,” Balthazar murmured to the empty room.


I’ve long wanted to start writing oneshots from the civil war, because I have a headcanon that Balthazar’s hideouts were also safe retreats for Cass.

Just showing up bloodied and exhausted and swearing he couldn’t stay, passing out despite himself when Balthazar pulls him into his lap and gently cleans him up.

He tries desperately to convince Cass to stay even one more hour once he’s woken up, for a bath, or healing, or sex, or more sleep, or even just to be touched; anything to keep him from feeling like he’s being slowly squeezed dry.

But I think they argued, too, in between it all.

It’s obvious Cass and Balthazar were trying to reconnect throughout season 6, and not just out of necessity, but I think they had a lot of trouble understanding each other under the awful circumstances.

Cass couldn’t understand why the person he’d fought with “too many times to count” wouldn’t do it again, especially since he couldn’t explain it via frivolity or cowardice or anything so neat and simple. He resented Balthazar for not standing with him this one time, when it was most important.

And Balthazar couldn’t convince Cass that his well being was Balthazar’s contribution to the war effort, because “Cass’ well being” just isn’t something that occurs to Cass, especially from season 6 onwards.

Anyways, I’m actually shocked I hadn’t shared this song before; I always thought it was very…what I just described.

Lyrics:




Knock, knock…are you alone?
No one’s out here and I was not followed.
Love, love…you’re already home.
Party’s over and you don’t look so good.

You find your way back down.
And I’ll keep the area clear…please clear the area.
When you find your way back down…in one piece.
Then I’ll just be waiting here…right here.

Low light…mercury morning…
No need to stay as it’s always nothing.
But your eyes tell a whole other story…and I feel the weight of the world.
Won’t talk…Won’t try…just move…
It’s too still in your sadness.
Cry…give up…it’s okay…
You’ve just got to trust me.

You find your way back down.
And I’ll keep the area clear…please clear the area.
When you find your way back down…in one piece.
Then I’ll just be waiting here…right here.

Slowly…darling…nobody means anymore to me than you
If you’re in…baby then I’m in (into this)…with you, always.
Careful…close to the edge…(You’re scaring me)
Fall in to my arms….(where did it all fall?)
Fall…into love…love…

You find your way back down.
And I’ll keep the area clear…please clear the area.
When you find your way back down…in one piece.
Then I’ll just be waiting here…right here.

You find your way back down.
Way back down,
And I’ll keep the area clear…please clear the area.
When you find your way back down…in one piece.
Then I’ll just be waiting here…right here.”
[identity profile] theamazingdalet.livejournal.com

“Ah, but you left early…” Castiel mused as he began his story, absentmindedly petting his own hands. “You missed it.”

“‘Left early’?” Balthazar huffed, mock indignant. “We completed the mission. I went home.”

“Mmm,” Castiel looked up and ahead, into the distance, smiling softly. Something had happened, clearly, after Balthazar had retreated, something Castiel remembered very fondly.

“They, the couple, just before I left-” Balthazar thought Castiel looked flushed as he stammered, still smiling. “They were so happy to be reunited, and– …Hm, well, it’s difficult to explain.”

Castiel frowned, just for a moment, before turning to Balthazar and lifting his hands. “I’ll show you.”

“Mm?” Balthazar edged slightly forward, curious.

“Closer,” said Castiel, motioning as he shifted towards Balthazar. “Here…”

Very gently, he cupped Balthazar’s cheeks, still leaning in.

Balthazar felt very warm, suddenly, when Castiel’s lips pressed against his own. Somehow, they just…fit.

It was perfect.



“‘Kissing’…that’s what it was called.” Castiel explained afterwards. He drew himself up straight where they sat, looking rather proud. “I knew it would work.”

“’Work’, indeed,” Balthazar chuckled, still red, still strangely overheated, still staring at their hands, together in his lap. After a moment’s thought, he lifted one of Castiel’s and gingerly “kissed” it.

“There,” he murmured, embarrassed but satisfied. “That works, too.”

“Y-yes,” Castiel answered, his voice slightly hoarse. “It would probably work anywhere.”

“Anywhere…like your cheek?” Balthazar smiled when Castiel said nothing, only blushed harder. Balthazar motioned him closer.

“Here…”      
        



A/N: A sort of companion ficlet to THIS.

Please excuse my boundless love for angels, told they are empty vessels for God’s will, finding reflections of their true selves across the universe, a little bit at a time.

And also sometimes being big blushing teenagers about it.

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