(no subject)

[theamazingdalet.livejournal.com]

most importantly, they need a cover for cass before they reach balthazar’s next client. he’s been a solitary creature for the past 15 years; exactly no one is going to believe he just took a liking to someone and is carting them around the country for the fun of it

they’ve broken the issue down into two parts: appearance & career

first up, appearance:

cass looks good. really good. way, way too good for this day and age. too hale, too strong, too smooth, too clean, too well-fed, and not at all stressed about his day-to-day survival

like, sure, balthazar looks pretty good, too. being a salesman, he puts as high a premium as he can on his own appearance, but he ain’t got nothing on cass

still, that’s gotta be the lesser of the two issues, right? “we’ll just have to dust you up a bit,” says balthazar

“that’s not going to work,” cass point-blank answers him

“what, why not?”

cass just sort of sighs and starts reciting. “for your health and safety, i have an automated sanitation system that will remove any dirt or bacteria on contact”

balthazar isn’t sure what to say, so cass just scrapes some dirt right off the ground in front of them

“here, watch this,” and then smears it all across his face

there’s a beat

and then a soft hissing sound as it all just…sloughs right off, so perfectly

it’s impressive, just…

“isn’t there an override?” balthazar asks. there’s always an override…right?

but cass just shakes his head. “i mean, there are temporary overrides, for specific occasions. say we were repainting your house, you could set a timed override for paint, and so on. but not dirt. this is just disgusting”

he shrugs. “do you…have any makeup? there’s an override for that”

balthazar groans, rubbing his forehead. “well, i did”

for now, it looks like they’ll have to make do with a fugly hat & scarf combo and hope for the best