(no subject)

[theamazingdalet.livejournal.com]

I love Calthazar + cooking, with each other, for each other, teaching each other. It can fit any universe and any mood. Truly, the perfect genre.

One of my all time favourites is human!au haute cuisine snob Balthazar + cynical, hungry Cass:

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1.

“See, you hollow out the middle here and put the dry ingredients inside - but separate - then whisk it all together, moving slowly from the outside inwards,” says Balthazar happily.

“Does it have to be that tedious?” Cass frowns.

“The result will be well worth it!” Balthazar insists.

Cass just gives him a Look…

…and sloooowly pulls out his blender.

Balthazar stiffens in horror.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

---

2.

“So sorry to keep you waiting, darling, but I’ve finally narrowed it down to my top four.” Balthazar sets the menus down excitedly. “Give me your choice and I’ll ring them up.”

Cass squints at the glossy covers.

“…What are these?”

“The best bakeries in the city, naturally. Take your pick, and I’ll show you the most finely crafted cake you’ve ever seen in your life!”

“Balthazar, I am not ordering a cake from a shop whose name I can’t even decipher. This looks like Elvish, or some kind of magic spell.”

“It’s just French. Boulangerie–“

“Enough of your hocus-pocus and show me a real bakery.”

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3.

Cass brings a sick Balthazar some soup. Balthazar sniffs it delicately.

“Ah, a heady, full-bodied Lipton’s Instant. 2014, if I’m not mistaken. Good year, a very good year.”

“It’s midnight, Balthazar. Your favourite delis are closed.”

---

4.

“Now, you need to keep a bit of an eye on it as it bakes. Just a quick peek in the oven every five minutes or so, then every two minutes once the top starts to darken. You’ll know it’s done when you’ve got that lovely, even brown coating.”

“Thanks. And how long do I microwave it for?”

He can hear Balthazar shudder on the other end of the phone.

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5.

“All right, how about we start with the vegetables?”

“No.”

“No…vegetables?”

“No cooking,” Cass says tiredly. “I changed my mind. I just want a burger.”

“Ah, certainly. Just relax, then, and I’ll–”

“I’m ordering burgers, Balthazar. Real burgers. Are you in or out?”

“…ah. Right.” Balthazar waves his hands. “I’m in, I’m in, of course. You call and I’ll pick them up.”

“Why? Let’s just have them delivered.”

“Cassie, please, I need to be involved somehow, or it’s bad for my heart.”

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No matter what, of course, Balthazar eats it all (even the burgers).

“Acceptable?” Cass can’t help but smirk a little proudly.

“Well, I’ll live.” Balthazar answers lovingly.