(no subject)

[theamazingdalet.livejournal.com]

you know, i really, really just want cass to at least be able to get to the place where sam is mentally

sam has a much more clear-headed view of dean’s behaviour than cass does at this point. probably because he’s had voluntary breaks from dean that involved real emotional downtime and positive relationships that could support him during the potential crash that comes when you start processing trauma

cass has had breaks from dean, sure, but always under high pressure: the civil war, purgatory, being on the run with the tablet. you literally cannot process trauma while you’re still in the pressure cooker. so many people, including me, CRASH once you’ve reached a safer place and that LOOKS really bad, but it’s actually a first sign of healing.

cass never gets a break, and it shows. because everyone else he has is ripped from him one way or the other, he still really needs to believe in dean’s fundamental goodness. he literally can’t get even enough space to back up and take a look at the real dean, and that’s why we get lines like, “and dean, trying so hard to be loyal” despite dean’s actual behaviour throughout s6

but sam nowadays can see through dean’s shit a lot of the time. he often lets it go or ignores it, but he knows it’s there.

and i just want so badly for cass to be able to see it, too. he doesn’t even have to say it out loud or anything, just be able to admit to himself that “yeah, dean meant to hurt or manipulate me when he said that, and he chose to do it, and it was wrong, and i don’t deserve it.”