(no subject)

[theamazingdalet.livejournal.com]

cass’ power certainly extends beyond interior decorating. there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot he can’t do with a halfway decent computer, like possibly absorbing the entire internet (once he was done with balthazar’s book collection)

balthazar thinks he should perhaps muster some concern, or sense of planetary responsibility (or at least enough good humour to start calling cass “freakazoid”)

he’s still worried about the impending crash of grief and depression with nothing to stave it off anymore, but after a few days cass’ apparent total control over form and matter on earth (or “this dimension,” as he puts it) actually starts to grab balthazar’s interest

professionally, of course. he is an astrophysicist

rather to his surprise, cass is actually more than happy to explain the physics behind his abilities (or at least just to talk). he gets really animated, pacing all around the living room while balthazar listens, almost enraptured at the novelty and complexity of it all

until he pops the question of why, given everything cass can do, he can’t raise the dead

and it really is just an innocent question. from a physics perspective, cass should be able to, so balthazar is expecting an answer relating to, say, the soul, or something suitably otherworldly

but cass just freezes like a deer in headlights, looking stricken

and balthazar’s mouth goes completely dry

“i didn’t--!”

cass actually shouts him down, just for a moment, then shrinks back with a small sigh, picking at his sleeves. “i didn’t lie,” he says quietly

“technically, technically, yes, you’re right, i could do it,” he starts pacing again, nervously, “but you need to understand, it is absolutely forbidden without express permission. do you know what would happen if i did that?”

he stops and turns abruptly to balthazar, looking mostly frightened, and a little challenging

“one of my elder brothers would come immediately to undo what i’d done. they don’t need to travel like i do; i’d say it would be…ten minutes, at most, and then…” he goes quiet for a moment, and even balthazar feels fearful. “they’d kill me for my transgression, they’d kill clarence, of course-”

balthazar grits his teeth and glares, but cass just looks at him

“-and they’d kill any witnesses. they might even raze the city, just to be rid of the taint”

balthazar looks away, shifting uneasily and wiping his eyes

“is that worth it?” cass asks, a little sadly. “is ten minutes worth all of our lives?”

“no–no, no, of course not-” balthazar murmurs very quickly, shaking his head. he can’t quite look up. for himself, it still sounds tempting, but offering up cass’ life as well…

cass sighs and sinks down onto the coffee table

“i am sorry i lied…technically. i didn’t want even the possibility to…haunt you. i thought this would be better…”

“it’s fine.” balthazar is more ashamed of his own desperation than angry at cass. he feels pathetic

“can i tell you something, though?” cass’ voice sounds suddenly…hopeful. balthazar hesitantly looks up at him

“what?”

“heaven is real,” cass says, with a sweet, sincere smile. “i don’t mean my home, i mean…paradise. where all the souls of the universe go to rest”

“you mean…?” balthazar sits up eagerly, blinking away the last of his tears. cass nods, smiling brightly

“and you know what it’s like?” he continues, quietly excited like he was before, “each soul generates its own paradise, and within it they can relive all of their happiest moments and memories, for all of eternity. and–”

balthazar can hardly believe there’s more

“if people’s souls are truly bonded in life - what you might call ‘soulmates’ - they may even share a paradise after death”

“then–” balthazar needs to know- “then if i die, we’ll be together? in heaven?”

cass nods again, beaming at him for a moment longer

until it dawns on him

“n-no, no, that’s not what–”

balthazar stands and starts to walk away, rather mortified at being so transparent. “i’m going to bed”

“balthazar…” cass stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder, pleading

“i’m just going to bed,” he insists tiredly.

cass nods, looking down, and lowers his hand