why tf do i still track the balthazar tag, it’s 95% nothing to do with spn & ppl who think balthazar ships d/estiel
i’ve cut myself loose. i am free..
okay listen i gotta go to bed but i just bought grimes’ “art angels” album and so far? this is literally the soundtrack to cass saying goodbye to dean and hitting the open sky with balthazar and hannah 4ever after
special mention goes to:
- flesh without blood
- venus fly
- realiti (balthazar pov –> cass)
why can't there by some way on ao3 to tag something without it showing up in the actual tag? like a ticky box 'do not show this in search results' or something at least put it in the 'other' tags instead of the actual rship tag
i do so love balthazar’s passive-aggressive total dismissiveness when dealing with people he doesn’t like (”you two were such an adequate stick, thank you”)
like just imagine dean confronting cass postseparation, and balthazar very politely tapping him on the shoulder
“who the hell are you?” cause dean’s never seen this guy before in his life“good afternoon, i’m room service,” says balthazar, with a very courteous bow. “i’m here to take out the trash”
you know, i really, really just want cass to at least be able to get to the place where sam is mentally
sam has a much more clear-headed view of dean’s behaviour than cass does at this point. probably because he’s had voluntary breaks from dean that involved real emotional downtime and positive relationships that could support him during the potential crash that comes when you start processing trauma
cass has had breaks from dean, sure, but always under high pressure: the civil war, purgatory, being on the run with the tablet. you literally cannot process trauma while you’re still in the pressure cooker. so many people, including me, CRASH once you’ve reached a safer place and that LOOKS really bad, but it’s actually a first sign of healing.
cass never gets a break, and it shows. because everyone else he has is ripped from him one way or the other, he still really needs to believe in dean’s fundamental goodness. he literally can’t get even enough space to back up and take a look at the real dean, and that’s why we get lines like, “and dean, trying so hard to be loyal” despite dean’s actual behaviour throughout s6
but sam nowadays can see through dean’s shit a lot of the time. he often lets it go or ignores it, but he knows it’s there.
and i just want so badly for cass to be able to see it, too. he doesn’t even have to say it out loud or anything, just be able to admit to himself that “yeah, dean meant to hurt or manipulate me when he said that, and he chose to do it, and it was wrong, and i don’t deserve it.”
Of course I forgot to put this in the actual post, but you know what’s most amazing here?
As I’ve theorized before (ex here), s6 was probably a low point for Cass & Balthazar’s relationship. There was lying, and resentment, and real trouble with communicating and understanding each other
and yet, because of the rock solid foundation under them, they STILL came out, in 5 episodes, as having one of the healthiest relationships on the show.
I mean, think about the end of their first scene: “You’ve gone insane,” says Cass derisively. A few lines later, Balthazar says, “All else aside, I’m really, really happy to see you. …Even though you still have that stick up your ass.”
They just traded barbs! But was either of them stung? I honestly can’t tell. If they were, then Balthazar’s reference to Cass’ line in his amused, “You may be certifiable, but,” seems to me to indicate forgiveness.
Cass and Balthazar can disagree, and argue, and still pull through in a genuine way because of the deep well of love that they’re ultimately standing on.
Again, by contrast, when Cass and Dean confront each other, it’s bitter and ugly, every time. Cass gives his side, even pleads for understanding and support, and Dean just attacks, refusing to understand.
It’s not even restricted to arguments; Dean throws barbs like the “baby in a trenchcoat” line all the damn time, and Cass is visibly hurt every time. He would never adopt those insults as in-jokes or, God forbid, loving gestures the way the fandom has.
I’m not a fan of it, but lots of real friends “insult” each other, and it’s taken in stride, with laughter, because they know how it was meant. They trust each other. Without that foundation, though, they’re just insults, plain and simple.And Cass’ face every single time says that foundation, with Dean, is wholly absent.
All right, this is gonna be self-evident for many of us, but I keep seeing people positively comparing Calthazar and Destiel in the vein of “Balthazar would do anything for Cass, just like Cass would do anything for Dean”
and, among other obvious reasons, it was bothering me, because yes, as a character Balthazar basically exists for Cass’ sake. Yes, on the surface, that seems quite unhealthy, but I can finally articulate why they are not remotely the same dynamic.( Read more... )
I’ve been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end, but on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again. (human calthazar au)
Reblogging again because post-Destiel Calthazar AUs for the win.
- complimenting Cass’ foresight on living in motels because you can leave quickly anytime
- and also offering to help him find a secure apartment when he’s ready
- cooking for Cass/pre-cutting food and ingredients so Cass doesn’t have to handle knives so much
- covering for Cass at other people’s homes when questions get too personal/judgemental or when there are certain rooms he can’t go into
- asking what Cass likes in bed and laughing with him when Cass says he has no fucking clue, he just knows what he absolutely cannot stand anymore
- not threatening grievous bodily harm against Dean “if he ever comes around” cause Cass is DONE with that hypermasculine horseshit
- post-nightmare/flashback soothing and cuddles as necessary
- one million rewatches of Cosmos for distraction
- “Are you all right?”
Lord Almightly how I could go on.Basically just consider Balthazar being the anti-Dean because that’s what he WAS in canon it just WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD THING L M F A O